Invader Zim: Human problems
by bobjones1284
Summary: Seven years after Zim lands on earth, a lab accident involving a wormhole generator and a time machine leave Gaz and Zim uncertain about the future. [ZaGr, DaTr] Please forgive how horrible i am at summaries. [Rated "T" for a bit of swearing here and there, and some content in later chapters.] Please review!
1. Ch 1: Zim's plan

**Hello, and welcome to my first story for invader zim! I loved this show growing up, and i've been on a zim kick recently, so i decided "why not?" and made a fanfiction for it.**

**This story will contain the following pairings: ZaGr, DaTr. **

chapter one:

Zim's plan

Zim hated humans. There is no disputing this, it's a blatantly obvious fact. despite this, he still couldn't bring himself to kill the girl who stood before him. He had killed many humans over the seven years he has been on earth, and yet, this one was different. He was completely terrified of this one. The purple haired female before him intimidated him to no end, but he refused to let that show. He glared at the human, fighting back his unease.

"What do you think you are doing in the base of the mighty ZIM, you filthy human?"

The purple haired girl looked around, taking her time with her answer. Zim stared at her impatiently.

"Well?" The irken asked, not exactly expecting a response at this point, just looking for an excuse to get rid of her.

The girl looked at zim. "I'm bored, and i decided to come bother you."

Zim rubbed the space between his eyes, about where the bridge of his nose would be if he were human, in irritation. "...little Gaz-human, surely you are more mature than that. When i landed on this planet seven years ago, when you were ten years old and your brother was eleven, you were doing the same thing you are doing right now. Breaking into someone's house to bother them purely because you were bored. Now, please tell me, because i am honestly confused about this, how did you even get in without setting off the security systems?

Gaz smirked, and Zim growled a bit. "Gir let me in. He's a nice, for an idiot."

Zim stepped towards Gaz, narrowing his eyes slightly. "I advise that you watch your tongue, little-Gaz. While Gir may be lacking in intelligence, and is definitely insane, he is an excellent companion and assistant. Besides, i've grown rather fond of the little robot."

Gaz laughed slightly. "Well, i've never seen you get so defensive for anyone other than yourself. what's gotten into you?"

Zim raised a nonexistent eyebrow. "I'm not getting defensive, little-gaz. I'm simply stating that nobody who isn't me is allowed to insult my robot unless i say they can."

Gaz shook her head, a smirk still plastered on her face. "Zim, that's called getting defensive."

Zim glared at her. "I'm going to do something i almost never do, and allow you to leave right now. The only reason i am even considering this is because by this point, you and your brother are well aware of what i am, and nothing i can do short of killing you will change that. Now, unless you wish for me to do something drastic, i recommend that you leave my base. Immediately."

Gaz grinned. "What, you're going to kill me if i don't go? jeez, and you thought i was immature for breaking in, shorty."

"HEY!" zim stared at her indignantly. while on earth, he had grown in height as a result of the lower gravity when compared to that of his home planet, but he was still below average. Roughly as tall as gaz, if not a tiny bit shorter. "How DARE you insult me in such a way? I am a proud irken invader, show some respect, dirt-beast!"

Gaz rolled her eyes, obviously not affected by Zim's outburst. "Whatever. Have you been working on anything recently?"

Zim backed away from her. "Did the Dib-stink send you to spy on me? HE DID, DIDN'T HE?!"

Gaz sighed, looking at zim as though he was an idiot. "No, Zim. Dib didn't send me. He knows better than to ask me for help with his paranormal bullcrap." She walked into the kitchen, and over to the horribly disguised elevator to the lower levels. Zim ran over to her, and stood in her way.

"HEY! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?!" Zim growled at her. "You can't go down there!"

Gaz pushed zim out of the way. "Who is going to stop me, Zim?" she steps into the elevator, followed by a particularly angry irken. As the elevator descended, gaz looks at zim. "You didn't answer my question." Zim growls slightly, then sighs.

"If you must know, i plan to use a combination of a temporal engine and a multiverse wormhole generating device to transport this FILTHY planet directly to the irken armada."

Gaz looks at him skeptically. "Can't you just use a teleporter? i know that you have them, i used one to get onto your space station back when we were in elementary skool."

Zim shakes his head, smirking. "Silly human. don't you think that i'd use my teleporter if it was powerful enough? It can teleport people, but not whole planets. however, with my current actions, i will be able to send the earth to the armada. I will use the multiverse wormhole generator, or M.W.G, to connect a wormhole from this universe to another location still within this reality. I've found that it is much quicker than waiting for a wormhole that just happens to take you exactly where you need to be. The temporal engine is here because in the wormholes created by the M.W.G, time acts a bit.. differently. Because they are outside of space and time, instead of actually sending you to different points in time, it just speeds time up and slows it down. In all the tests i've conducted with this combination, speeding up time in the wormhole will make objects of any mass move with incredible speed. The filthy dib-human will have no time to stop my plan, because by the time he gets to my base, the tallests would begin the biological sweep on the planet!" Zim looked at Gaz, expecting her to be impressed by his obviously brilliant plan. she wasn't.

"Knowing you, something will go wrong." zim began ranting about how nothing could go wrong with the plan, but she didn't pay attention. She looked over at a control panel, and began to approach it. She tripped over a thick wire, and when she tried to stop herself from falling, her hand hit a few buttons. As she was getting up, she heard a sound like a machine powering up, along with Zim screaming "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, DIRT-BEAST?!" she turned to look at Zim so she could explain that it was an accident, but she was interrupted by a bright flash of white.

**Well, that's chapter one out of the way. Good. Not going to lie, i had some fun writing this. I'm not sure if i wrote the characters very… well, in character, though. It's not a massive problem, seeing as they've had about seven years to grow and mature in this fic, but i just can't seem to find the perfect center with "too much of their old personality [so much that they seem more like a stereotype of themselves]" and "not enough of their old personality [completely different characters that look like them and are named the same, but are far from being the actual characters.]" so, yeah. unless i get a lot of complaints about it, they are as they will be. **


	2. Ch 2: The portal

Chapter two:

The portal

Gaz stares at the source of the flash, awestruck, completely disregarding her normal uncaring appearance. Whatever she had done seems to have opened up a portal to another version of Zims base. She gets up, and returns to her normal personality. Zim gets up after Gaz, having fallen over during the flash, and approaches the portal. within seconds, the sound of the elevator can be heard on the other side of the portal. Zim locates the source of the sound, and is shocked to see an older version of himself and Gaz approaching the portal. The younger Gaz raises an eyebrow, and zim backs up a few steps.

"IMPOSTERS! YOU WILL NOT TAKE MY BASE!" Zim screams, prepared to fight himself.

Gaz slaps Zim on the back of the head. "Calm down, space boy. When i tripped, i probably just opened up this wormhole."

Zim calms himself. "Ah… yes. although, it might not have been a wormhole. the temporal engine is hooked into that control panel as well, so this may be a temporal rip that leads to the close future. I'll have the computer figure it out later."

The older Zim clears his throat. "Hello, young-Zim and young-Gaz. Are you in need of assistance with closing the portal, or are you capable on your own?"

Gaz smirks a bit. "Hey, Zim, you're actually tolerable in the future. i almost like this version of you."

The older Gaz smirks a bit. "You have no idea…" She reaches to scratch her arm, and Zim notices something on her wrist. His eyes widen, and he backs up, his antennae perking up in shock.

"Is that… Is that an Irken marriage cuff?" His voice sounds slightly afraid as he asks, like he doesn't want to know the answer.

The older gaz looks at her wrist, then at the younger Zim. "Yeah, why? Or… oh… you aren't there yet, are you?"

Zim is about to answer when the portal closes. He looks at the power core for the two devices and sees Gaz standing there, just finished with ripping the wires out to force a shutdown. She slowly looks at Zim.

"Zim…. Tell me that was a wormhole to some alternate reality or something." her voice seems strained and angry, like she's one second away from killing someone.

Zim takes a step back, nervous. "Eh… computer, which portal was that? Temporal, or dimensional?" Zim and Gaz await the computer's answer, the tenseness in the room almost visible. Finally, the computer speaks.

"My data was corrupted upon opening the portal, i honestly don't know which one it was." It's voice sounded apologetic, but that was not enough for Gaz. She punches a wall in rage, and looks up slightly. "Zims computer, how long will it take you to get the information back? How long will it take for you to know which portal it was?"

The computer spoke again, slightly nervous. "Um… i don't think i… you know… CAN… get the information back. If i can, it will take a long… LONG… time."

Gaz punches the wall again, repeatedly. Zim approaches her. "Eh… Gaz-beast, if you could take out your anger somewhere that isn't my base, that would be.. um... " Zim is interrupted by Gaz grabbing the front of his uniform and staring him in the eyes threateningly.

"Zim, how would you like it if i were to take my anger out on YOU, hmm? Because there is nothing i'd like to do more." Zim pulls away, afraid of the human before him. She sighs, and walks to the elevator. Zim follows her, but when he is about to step on, Gaz pushes him away and the elevator ascends without him.

Zim growls under his breath. "The nerve of that FILTHY human…"

p.o.v shift- Gaz

Gaz left Zims house quickly, not even bothering to shut the door behind her. She just had to get out of there. She wasn't sure why she reacted the way she did, but she did, and now that it was done, she didn't regret it. She immediately began walking home, not having anywhere else to go.

After a relatively short walk home, Gaz is not surprised to see her brother sitting on the roof, searching for anything that might be out there. Gaz sighs, and walks inside. She goes to the kitchen, opens the refrigerator, grabs a soda, closes the fridge, and walks into the living room. She sits down on the couch, turning on the television.

After about thirty minutes, Dib walks in, and sits down next to her. "Hey sis, what are you watching?"

Gaz glances up at the television. "I don't know… some show about a guy with a time traveling portable toilet or something… i think it's called 'professor when' or something like that. I haven't paid much attention to it."

Dib watches the show for a bit, then looks at Gaz. "So… where have you been? I mean, you didn't say much when you left earlier."

Gaz shrugs. "Zims house. why?"

Much to her enjoyment, Dib jumps up off of the couch and stares at her, a look of shock on his face. "Oh god! What happened? He abducted you, didn't he? Abducted you like the EVIL alien he is! I can check for any probes in your brain, or any other alien devices he may have implanted into you! Um...if you want me to, that is."

Gaz sighs, and rubs her forehead. "Dib, shut up. Your voice is giving me a headache."

"Oh… um… sorry, gaz…" Dib backs up a bit. Gaz looks at him. "Dib… just go back up onto the roof, and… i don't know… look for Tak or something. i honestly don't care, just get out of here."

At the mention of Tak, a very nostalgic expression washes over Dibs face. "Ah… i remember her. She was nice, until we found out she was an alien. ...have you ever thought about what it would be like to date an irken?"

p.o.v shift: Zim

Zim was sitting on the couch in his living room with Gir, watching the television. Some earth program called "professor when" was on. Zim was watching with minor interest, when he hears someone screaming in pain far away. Zim chuckles, thinking about how the screaming sounds exactly like Dib. Whoever it was must have been in a lot of pain to scream loud enough for the sound to be heard from inside his base.

**Well, wasn't that interesting? I mean, that portal could have been leading to another dimension, or another time, and none of you know which one! of course, i know which, but i'm not going to SAY anything about it. Also, the screaming Zim heard in the last paragraph is Dib. He should know better than to ask Gaz about dating an irken after she goes through something he had no idea about. For shame, Dib! **


	3. Ch 3: Hi-skool

**Ch. 3:**

**Hi-skool**

**just a quick warning, this chapter will contain some swearing. Not much, don't worry. **

Gaz wakes up, and checks her phone, only to see that it is a school day. She sighs, gets out of bed, and gets dressed. Once she has her usual outfit on, she goes downstairs, and sees Dib sitting on the couch, his emergency crutches on the floor in front of him. Gaz smirks, seeing them, remembering when Dib first got them. She thought they were stupid, he thought they were necessary. Thinking about it, Gaz could see why he would need them. Between Zim and herself…

Gaz groans audibly, and Dib looks at her curiously. She ignores him, trying to rid her mind of the thought of anything between herself and Zim. She knew it was stupid to be reminded of that by a simple common phrase, but somehow it still bothered her to no end.

Dib raises an eyebrow questioningly. "Um… Gaz, are you sick or something…?"

Gaz glares at Dib. "I'm fine, Dib. Leave me alone." Dib gets up, supporting himself with his crutches. "Gaz… did something happen yesterday at zim's hou-" Dib is interrupted by a swift punch to the stomach. "One more word about yesterday, and you'll need more than just crutches. You'll need a whole body cast, and a replacement spine. Got it?"

Dib coughs, and composes himself. "Y-yeah, got it…" He goes outside to wait for the bus, followed by Gaz. Once the bus arrives, The two siblings are surprised to see Zim sitting in their usual seat. Gaz sighs, and goes to the back of the bus. A quick glare to the students already seated opens up enough room for herself and Dib. They sit down, and Dib instantly begins asking questions at a record breaking speed.

"Why is Zim here? He never takes the bus! What is he planning?" blah, blah, blah. Gaz tunes him out, staring out the window. She begins to think, mostly to avoid thinking about Zim and that portal. She smirks, telling herself that she'll eventually get him back for that. She is so busy considering the various ways she could exact her revenge, she didn't even notice when the bus stops.

"Uh, Gaz… the bus has stopped…" Gaz looks up at Dib, and realizes that everyone else has already left. She grabs her bags, and sighs. she gets up, and exits the vehicle. As she steps out onto the sidewalk, she notices Zim standing at the edge of the skool building, barely visible. He is staring at her. Seeing that he now has her attention, he makes a gesture to tell her to come to him. Gaz sighs, shaking her head, and looks at her brother.

"Dib, i need to go do something. Don't follow me. I'm sure you know what will happen if you disobey me." She gives him a warning look, and he flinches slightly. Satisfied, she walks over to where Zim was standing.

"What do you want, space-boy?" Gaz growled at Zim threateningly. Zim clears his throat, obviously nervous. he stands up straight, and regains his composure. "Well, earth-girl, my computer was able to determine which portal it was." Zim looks at her, and from the sweat forming on his forehead and his refusal to look her in the eyes, she could tell he was either lying, or about to say something she did not want to hear. "It was the Multiverse wormhole generator!" he chuckles halfheartedly, quite obviously lying. Gaz looks at him, and raises an eyebrow. "You are a terrible liar, you know that?" Zim looks at her, slightly annoyed.

"Okay… i admit, i still have no idea. So much for avoiding extreme pain whenever you are even slightly reminded of it… although, i can't say you are completely correct." Gaz rolls her eyes. "Really? how am i wrong?" her voice drips with sarcasm. "My lying skills are quite good. I've fooled the people of this world into believing that i am one of them for YEARS now." Zim grins slightly. Gaz shakes her head. "No, Zim. Being able to take advantage of the stupidity of the human race is NOT the same thing as being able to tell a good lie." Zim tilts his head slightly. "What is the difference?" Gaz smirks a little. "Some humans are smarter, and won't be fooled as easily the rest of the morons on this planet."

Zim glances downwards, thinking. "Hmm… i… suppose you are correct, filth-beast."

Gaz glares at him. "Zim, call me 'filth-beast' again, and i swear to god, i'll toss you in a swimming pool, and we both know your… violent… reaction to water." Zim looks at her. "how about stink-human?"

P.O.V shift: Dib

Dib walked through the halls of the school near the middle of first period, having been excused to go to the bathroom by his teacher. Needless to say, he wasn't actually going to the bathroom. Zim wasn't in class, and from the lack of horrified screams and shrieks of pain in the classroom across the hall, neither was Gaz. Eventually, his search brought him outside, and as he turns a corner, he freezes. Completely unaware of his presence, Zim has his sister pinned to the ground.

"ZIM! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! GET THE HELL OFF OF MY SISTER!" Zim glances at Dib over his shoulder, then looks back at Gaz. After a second or two, he realizes how the position could be interpreted, and gets up quickly. He backs away, a look of disgust on his face. Dib grabs the front of Zim's shirt in a blind rage, and throws him to the ground. Or, he tries to, at least. Before Zim hits the ground, The legs of his PAK emerge, and keep him from hitting the ground. Dib rushes at him, and punches him in the stomach.

He doubles over in pain, clutching his stomach, still suspended in the air by the mechanical spider legs protruding from his pak. "INSOLENT FILTH-BOY! You misunderstand what Zim was doing! Your demon-sister attacked me, i pinned her down in an act of self preservation! Needless to say, it was no easy task."

Dib looks at his sister, who appears to have taken a slight beating, but looks more angry than pained, then looks at Zim, who doesn't seem to have a single scratch on his entire body. Dib narrows his eyes at Zim. "Zim, if you even LOOK at my sister again, i swear to god, i'll-" Dib is cut off as Zim waves a hand dismissively. "Yes, yes, you'll knock me unconscious and bring me to your human law enforcement drones for an autopsy. I'm well aware of your intentions Dib-stink." The human glares at the irken, who can't help but be reminded of the earth phrase "if looks could kill, i would be dead". Dib smirks a bit. "Oh, no, Zim. This time, you're wrong." Dib's voice is calm, but Zim can tell that behind the illusion of nonchalance, an anger that can be compared to that of Gaz was burning deep within him. "If you do anything even slightly involving my sister, directly or not, i swear to god, by the time the paranormal experts get there, they won't need to do an autopsy."

Zim tilts his head slightly to the left. "And… why is this, filth-boy?" Dib grins, looking slightly insane. "Because in the time it would take for them to get here, i would have killed you, and ripped out your intestines." Zim takes a small step back, resisting the urge to cover his stomach and chest in a currently unnecessary attempt to defend his squeedlyspooch. Dib, satisfied, looks at his sister. "C'mon, Gaz. I think i got my point across." As Dib walks away, Gaz glances over her shoulder, only to see that Zim is gone. She smirks. "Wuss."

**Author's note: Well, wasn't that chapter fun? To avoid confusion, Zim was not lying about Gaz attacking him [as though this needed to be clarified], but due to his actual combat training and experience versus Gaz's lack of either, he managed to get out of it unscathed. Fun fact, at first, i was going to make Zim act slightly more ashamed of his actions in this chapter, but then i thought "no, no, you stupid meat-beast, Zim can't be ashamed. he probably doesn't even know what that word means." This thought led to me re-writing most of Zim's dialogue with Gaz in this chapter. Also, Zim suggestion of calling Gaz "stink human" was genuine uncertainty on his part rather than an attempt at insulting her. **

**Anyways! Hope you enjoyed, and i'll see you next chapter! **


	4. Ch 4: Intruder in the base

**Ch.4**

**Intruder in the base**

**Author's note: So… Gir enters the story in this chapter. I say this because… well, if i'm honest, i'm not very good at writing the dialogue of the little robot. I try, and try, and yet he always seems a bit too sane. I can get his actions rather well, but his dialogue? …*cringe* **

**So if you have suggestions on how i can do it better, feel free to let me know with a review. For this chapter at least, you just need to put up with abbreviations, misspellings, and all sorts of other things vaguely related to how Gir speaks. Also, i'll probably swap between styles for it multiple times through this chapter. trying to get a feel for how to do it. If this bothers you, i apologize. **

Zim didn't go to his classes that day. He didn't feel like it, and nobody was actually forcing him, so he returned home. Besides, he had far more important things to do back at the base. For one, he had to dismantle the wormhole generator and the temporal engine. He had considered trying the plan again without Gaz screwing it up, but after giving it some thought, he decided that there's probably a better way to conquer the earth. A planet full of stupid, filthy worm monkeys can't be so difficult to destroy, anyways. Zim sighs. He had been telling himself the same thing ever since he landed on this ball of dirt.

"Eventually, Zim. Eventually you shall take over this pitiful world. Once you do, you will be a h-" Zim was cut off as Gir tackled him to the ground, shaking in fear. "MASTER! MASTER!" Zim gets up, and looks at Gir. "What is it, Gir? Did they cancel your favorite show or something?" Zim shakes his head dismissively, walking to his base.

"I was in da basement… an' i hears a noise… an' i sees a thing…" Gir looks down, almost looking ashamed. "i gots scarred." Zim rolls his eyes, stepping into the house, and removing his disguise, and sitting down on the couch. "Gir, it was probably just one of the experiments. You are aware that i keep them down there, correct?" Gir shakes his head. "No, it wasn't one of those… it was like you! 'cept… it wasn' you."

One of Zim's antennae perks up in curiosity. "Eh? Like me? As in, an Irken?" Gir nods his head. Zim jumps up off of the couch. "THEY ARE HERE TO TAKE MY MISSION!" Zim runs to the elevator in the base's kitchen with Gir. "GIR! Quickly! Where in the base did you see the intruder?"

Gir looks down for a moment, then back up at Zim, a stupid grin on his face, His tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth. He giggles a bit. "i dunno!" Zim growls a bit, then looks up slightly. "COMPUTER! Run a biological scan on the entire base! Search for Irken DNA, and exclude my own from that search."

Within seconds, the computer responded. "Sir! Two irkens detected on level four!" Zim sent the elevator to level four, and ran out into the corridor. Gir looked around, staying close to Zim, his single antennae drooping in fear. Zim walks around a corner, and hears a very familiar voice speaking. "Keep your head down! Maybe if he doesn't notice us, he'll leave…"

Zim walks towards the voice, and sees Skoodge and another, much shorter, irken with their backs to him. Zim clears his throat, and the two irkens before him jump, and quickly turn around. Zim growls, baring his teeth menacingly. "WHAT DO YOU TWO THINK YOU ARE DOING HERE?!" Skoodge backs up a bit, and the smaller irken looks like he is about to pass out.

Skoodge clears his throat. "Um… you see, after that training mission on Hobo 13, i… uh… i kinda… hitched a ride… um… here." Zim raises an antennae. "That was seven years ago. how come my computer never located you?

Zim's computer spoke up. "Sir… i detected them multiple times, i just didn't say anything, because… well, they ARE irkens. i just assumed you brought some new assistants."

Zim's eye twitches, and he turns his attention to the shorter irken. "And you, identify yourself, and tell me what you are doing here!"

The tiny irken cowers away from Zim. "i- i am Table headed service drone Bob, sir… just… just call me Bob, though. Back when you were sent to Hobo 13, the Tallests forced me to bet for you surviving, and when you did… well, i was on the ship that was heading for the sun. Skoodge saw me and brought me along on your ship… we've been living in your basement ever since."

Zim glares at the two. "I'm going to give the two of you until this afternoon to get the hell off of my planet."

They stare at him, confused. Skoodge clears his throat. "I'm sorry… get the what off of your planet?"

Zim realizes what he said, and waves his hand dismissively. "An earth phrase i picked up during my mission. You wouldn't get it. Now, go! pack your things, and LEAVE!"

Bob steps forward, and Zim glares at him. "Um… w-with all due respect, Zim, perhaps we could stay here? We could provide assistance, like your computer said, or something." Skoodge nods his head quickly. "Yeah! Like, service drones, or something. Honestly, it's better than nothing. Technically, we're deserters, so… if we return to the armada, we'll be killed, and no planet not under irken control will take very well to two irkens, so…"

Zim sighs, and rubs the space between his eyes. "I feel like i'm going to regret this, but… Fine… you can stay. I'll go get the disguise machine ready… i'll show you what this world is like tomorrow."

POV Shift: Tak

Tak wasn't sure how long it has been since she returned to the armada, ashamed by her failure to steal his mission. Well, she knew how long it was for herself, she just didn't know it has been for… Him. The single worst thing that ever happened to her. The person she hated more than any other.

There is only two things she can be thankful for in her life. One, the tallests decided not to send her back to dirt, and two, they let her keep MiMi. She had grown fond of the little SIR unit, and isn't quite sure what she would do without her.

Her current job is basically the same as what it was on dirt, janitorial service, but this time it was on the massive, which meant she can actually make a dent in the filth around her. Despite this, she still feels rage and hatred deep within her. Not at her surroundings, not at her job, but at Zim.

"Mark my words, you damned defect… i'm going to return."

**Author's note: So… that happened. Kind of a throw away chapter, i admit, but i had to bring Skoodge and Bob in SOMEHOW. After all, they are my favorite minor irkens, even more so than Tak, and Skoodge was originally supposed to come into the show [in more or less the same way i wrote it here, which is a plus] if it wasn't canceled… so… yeah. also, while Tak does make her first technical appearance in this chapter, she won't be in the story until a bit later. For right now, she just has her own side thing going on at the end of some chapters. **

**As always, i shall see you all in the next chapter! **

**...Also, i still don't like how i wrote Gir. Again, i need help on that. **


	5. Ch 5: City of the enemy

**Ch. 5**

**City of the enemy**

Skoodge glances around nervously, unsure of how to feel about the earth-creatures around him. He has no idea what the humans can do, and that absolutely terrifies him. The scratchy lenses he has to wear to make him look human do not help to ease him. Skoodge glances over at Bob, who seems more intrigued than afraid. He sighs, realizing how much of a coward he is being. He decides to show how brave he is, so the humans don't get the idea that he is weak.

Skoodge looks at the human next to him. It's a large, intimidating, bearded man who looks like he could punch down a brick wall. He narrows his eyes at the human. "I'm not afraid of you, ya know." The man glances at Him, grunts in acknowledgement, and goes back to what he was doing. Skoodge glances at Zim, and sees that he is speaking with that little robot of his.

"GIR! I need you to search the area for the Dib-stink. If i am to successfully show my new allies what earth is like, i can't have him interrupt. If he is anywhere near us, just… take him somewhere else. Understood?"

Gir salutes, his eyes glowing red behind his disguise for a moment before they return to normal, and he starts to giggle. He runs off into the crowd, and Zim turns to face the other two disguised irkens. "NOW THEN! We shall not have to deal with the Dib-stink or Gir for the entirety of this little 'tour'." Zim turns, and starts walking down the sidewalk, and his new companions follow close behind.

After about thirty minutes of following Zim and listening to him ranting about human activities, the three irkens hear a voice calling out to Zim. He locks up, hearing the distinct voice of a certain human he was trying so hard to avoid.

"ZIM! OH MY GOD! YOU BROUGHT MORE OF YOUR KIND HERE?!" Dib screams at the alien, a mortified look on his face.

Zim glares at Dib, then notices Gir sitting down on the ground near his feet.

"Gir… why… did you not… lead… him… away?" Zim growls the question through gritted teeth, pissed off at the little robot. Gir looks up at him. "Weeeeeeellll… you said to take him somewhere, soooooo.. i broughts him here!" Skoodge looks from the robot, who has a look of confused innocence on his face, to the irken, who looks like he is about to strangle the little guy. "Uh… Zim… w-with all due respect… um... "

Skoodge is cut off by Bob. "Zim, we have more important things to do than killing your robot. Come on, we can do that later." Gir, completely oblivious to what the tiny irken had said, cries out in joy. "YAAAAAY!"

Zim sighs, shaking his head. Dib steps towards him. "Well, Zim, why are your little friends here, anyways? what, couldn't take over the planet by yourself?" Zim casts a look of pure hatred towards Dib. "No, Dib-stink. They are… stowaways. After a short training mission a long time ago, they snuck onto my ship and came here. I only found out they were here recently. Now, if you don't mind, i must show them what they need to know in order to blend in on this ball of FILTH. BEGONE WITH YOU!"

Dib just stood in place, staring at the alien. "...Did you honestly think telling me to leave would work?" Zim shakes his head. "No. I did not." Dib sighs, placing the palm of his hand on his forehead. "My god, Zim, you are the WORST alien invader i've ever seen."

Before Zim could throw any form of insult at Dib, a female voice calls out to the large-headed teenager. "Wow Dib, why are you so racist all the time?"

Everyone who happened to be walking by stops and stares at Dib. Zim, however, is staring at the source of the voice. The purple haired goth girl known as Gaz was leaning against a wall, smirking slightly. Zim hesitantly looks back at Dib. "Yeah, Dib! why must you be so awful towards anything that isn't like you? hmm? HMM?" The crowd of people start mercilessly insulting him. One particularly ill-informed individual screams out "LEAVE THE POOR IRISH CHILDREN ALONE!" Dib glances at the guy, about to insult his intelligence, but before he can say anything, the crowd is yelling in agreement, telling him to leave the "irish" kids alone. Zim uses this to his advantage, standing on top of a box he had just found. "YES! REMOVE THE LARGE-HEADED CHILD! REMOVE HIM FROM HERE, AND I SHALL SPREAD THE LUCK OF THE IRISH TO ALL OF YOU! LUCKY LUCKY!" Gaz couldn't help but crack a grin at Zim's attempt at an irish accent, mixed with the humor of seeing her brother struggle against the crowd.

"Gaz! why aren't you helping me?! why are you helping the alien?! why are you-" Dib is cut off by the large bearded man Skoodge "spoke" with earlier. He picks Dib up by his head, and lifts him up to eye level. "LEAVE IRISH KIDS ALONE!" The man throws Dib surprisingly far, but he refuses to give up. He runs back towards the crowd. "GAZ! GET AWAY FROM THE ALIEN! REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED AT THE SCHOOL?! I SAID NOT TO GET ANYWHERE NEAR HIM AGAIN! GAZ! ARE YOU LISTENING?!"

Zim looks at the purple-haired human, who was clearly paying no attention to her brother. "Dib-sister, what was your reasoning for assisting me?" He eyes her warily, unsure of what she may do. She simply pulls out her Gameslave five, and shrugs. "Thought it'd be funny." Zim looks at her for a few seconds before shrugging. "I'll admit, it was… humorous."

Gaz raises an eyebrow, not looking up from her game. "That's because you are easily entertained, Zim."

Zim tilts his head to the right slightly, looking at the human. "Are you saying that you were not amused by the sight of your brother being attacked by the crowd like he was?"

Gaz shook her head, still focused on her game. "No, that was funny and all, i just wanted to point out how easily entertained you are."

Zim narrows his eyes at the human. "Was that an insult, Dib-sister?" Gaz smirks slightly, briefly glancing up from her game. "Yeah. honestly, i'm surprised you didn't make an attempt at insulting me the moment you realized what i had said."

Now it was Zim's turn to give Gaz a smug look. "I did. Being related to the Dib-stink is an insult already, pointing it out like i did earlier simply rubs salt into that wound." Gaz allows herself to release a short chuckle. "True enough, i suppose…"

As Zim and Gaz spoke, Skoodge stares at the human, uneasy about her presence. Bob seems to notice, and he leans in so only he and skoodge can hear their own conversation. "Hey… what's up with the earth-female? She seems to bother you." Skoodge shakes his head. "It's nothing… nothing much, anyways. I saw her down in the base with Zim the other day. She had done… something, i'm not quite sure what. all i know is that it ended up with either a portal opening. Thing is, it could have either been a wormhole to another universe, or a time portal. Nobody who saw the incident has any idea which portal it was, and the base's computer lost the data of that startup…"

Bob narrows his eyes in thought. "Well… did they look… older?"

Skoodge shakes his head. "They did, but it's not that simple. there are universes out there that have been around slightly longer than our own, so it's entirely possible it was just one of those dimensions."

Bob casts his eyes to the floor, thinking again. "Alright… well… what's so important about that? I mean, big deal, she saw a version of the future. What's so bad about that?"

Skoodge looks at Bob, and has to force himself to speak. "W-well… you see, in the future shown through the portal… uh… Zim and her… well…" Bob's eyes widen in realization. "No…" Skoodge just nods, feeling disgusted. Bob stares at him, a mortified look on his face. "B-but… isn't that like.. in direct violation of invader protocol number seventy five? You can't have a relationship with any member of an enemy species!"

Skoodge sighs. "That's not even the worst part." Bob looks up at him, looking as though he will never get over the trauma of this conversation. "I managed to get a picture of the portal…" As he says this, he reaches into his PAK, pulling out a small picture. "Dear god…" Skoodge lifts one antennae under his wig, hearing how quickly Bob has learned to use earth terms. "There's more." Bob draws back slightly, eyes widening. "No!" Skoodge stares at Bob for a moment, then clears his throat. "um.. yes… anyways." Skoodge points at the wrists of the Human and Irken on the other side of the portal. Bob sees the irken marriage cuffs, and promptly passes out. Skoodge picks up the shorter irken, putting the image back into his Pak. He walks over to Zim, who is in the middle of a conversation with the purple-haired female. "Uh… Z-Zim? Bob seems to have passed out…"

Zim glares at Skoodge, then looks at Bob. "It seems he has. Carry him back to the base, the tour has concluded." Zim looks at Gaz. "Farewell, Gaz-human. I shall see you in skool on monday." Gaz just goes back to playing her video game. "Whatever." Zim nods to Skoodge, and the two irkens begin walking back to the base, Gir following close behind.

P.O.V shift: Dib

Dib sat in a chair in the living room of the membrane household, watching the door. Eventually, his purple-haired sister walks in, and notices him staring at her. "How long have you been staring at the door, Dib?" Dib gets up, and walks to his sister, very clearly angry at her. She raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"Gaz. I seem to remember telling you to stay AWAY from Zim. Did i not?" Gaz smirks slightly. "Well, it's good to know that i have a new way to annoy you, Dib." Dib narrows his eyes. "Gaz, don't try to change the subject. You and i both know you were instructed to stay away from that… Thing…" Dib seems to spit out the word in disgust. "...So, why did you refuse to follow my instructions?" Gaz just shrugs, and walks up the stairs to her room. "Gaz, this is your last warning. Don't go near Zim. This is for your own good."

Gaz stops, and looks at her older brother. "You sound like a broken record!" Dib sighs, shaking his head. Gaz grins slightly, as he sits back down on the couch.

**Author's note:**

**Alright, i really liked this chapter. I enjoyed how it turned out. That is a good thing, because i didn't enjoy how the last one turned out, and that made me want to do better. That desire to do better led to this chapter being how it is. Also, i know a somebody is probably going to say "HEY! Where's Tak's bit at the end?" Well… Tak's input will not be after every chapter. There's only so much you can write about in the life of a pissed off alien janitor. Anyways, with how i'm planning on Tak returning, mixed with when i plan on putting her into the story for real, her absence for a few chapters is needed. Apologies. **

**Also i feel like i wrote Gir's dialogue much better this chapter. **

**See ya in the next chapter! **


	6. Ch 6: Hostile activity

**Ch. 6**

**Hostile activity**

**Author's note:**

**for future reference, if you see a character speaking in italics, it's something they are not actually saying. This can be thinking, typing, etc.**

**i**f there are three things Gaz hates more than her brother, they are her brother's obsession, idiots, and people trying to be social with her. Needless to say, when Zim brings Bob and Skoodge to school on monday and the two of them sit at her table and start to talk to her, she is quite pissed.

"Listen here, little green men. I have rules about social interaction. Rule one: Don't. Are we clear?"

Bob narrows his eyes at her. "Have some respect, human dirt-child. We are the superior race, and if you think that setting down rules will do anything, you are sorely mistak-GAH!"

Gaz tightens her grip on Bob's throat, and she glares directly into his eyes, currently hidden by the silver-eye contacts he has been given as a part of his human disguise. Even with the false eyes, Gaz can see the fear the tiny irken is feeling. She smirks, and tosses him away, causing his bluish-black wig to almost fall off. He gets up, and hides behind Skoodge, who is staring at the human female in fear.

Gaz observes the two irkens curiously. Said irkens are staring back, waiting to see what she would do next. She looks at skoodge, His vibrant orange wig slightly askew, and his brown eye contacts close to falling out. She shakes her head. "Go. Now. I'm not in the mood to deal with idiots today."

As she says this, a familiar voice addresses her from across the table.

"When are you ever in the mood, Gaz-human? You are not one who suffers fools very well." Gaz glares at Zim. "If you know this, explain why you haven't taken yourself and your little alien friends the hell away from me."

Zim smirks. "Because i know how much it bothers your brother to see you anywhere near me. Now, add that to… Recent events… Such as you attacking me behind the school. He doesn't feel comfortable with the two of us in the same room, let alone the same lunch table. And finally, now that Bob and Skoodge are here, you will be around three aliens rather than just me. If you talking to me pissed him off, this will send him into a fit of rage the likes of which has never been seen from him."

Gaz pauses her game, and looks up at Zim. She can't help but mirror his evil grin. "Alright. The three of you live… This time." She goes back to her game, trying her best to ignore her brain nagging at her to tell them all to screw off. "_What the hell? Why aren't you telling them to LEAVE? This isn't like you at all, dammit!" _Gaz pushes that thought to the back of her mind, telling herself that it's all to piss Dib off. This seems to shut the nagging voice up, for the most part.

Gaz shakes her head, mildly annoyed. The aliens sitting at the table are… almost tolerable, at best. Zim just sat there silently, laughing to himself occasionally, muttering about the look Dib will have on his face when he arrives. Bob sits as far away as possible, and Skoodge does everything he can to make sure Gaz isn't angry, even to the point of basically acting like her slave.

After about ten minutes of awkwardly sitting at the table in near silence aside from the dead-on-arrival conversations, Dib enters the cafeteria. He freezes, seeing the three aliens sitting with his sister. He walks over to the table, his calm demeanor not betraying the ungodly wrath deep within his mind.

The closer he gets, however, the more difficult it becomes to hold his rage inside. With every step, it gets worse and worse, clouding his judgement, making him see red. He gets to the table, and pushes Zim to the ground. Before Zim can attempt to retaliate, Dib has his foot on the invaders' throat.

"Alright, you dumb mother fucker… What did i say about going near my sister? Huh?"

Zim squirms under Dibs' foot, making a strangled noise that Dib can only assume is a failed attempt to communicate. Dib lifts his foot slightly, letting Zim take a breath, then he stomps his foot back down. Hard.

A crowd gathers around the two. Dib takes their cheers of "Fight! "Fight!" As inspiration, and kicks Zim in the face. The irken coughs up blood, and Dib kicks him again. Zim manages to get Dibs' foot away, but he just comes back, kicking the irken in the ribs, multiple times. Dib knows Bob and Skoodge are there, watching from the sidelines, but if they haven't come to help Zim yet, Dib thought, they aren't going to.

Needless to say, Dib was surprised when someone hits him in the back of the head with the force of a car going full speed. He turns around, and is even more surprised to see who had done it. Instead of Skoodge or Bob, like he had expected, he sees Gaz, glaring daggers at him.

"He has had enough, Dib. Back off." Everyone goes silent, and a few people return to their lunch tables. They all knew, if Gaz tells you to stop doing something, you stop doing it. She had ended the fight.

Zim, meanwhile, sees this as the perfect opportunity to escape. He would have shot the Dib-stink in the back while he was distracted, if not for his injuries. He could barely even get up, and eventually just quit trying, crawling away instead. "So… demeaning… I should not have to crawl away from a fight…"

Bob and Skoodge see Zim, and run over to help him onto his feet. Once he is up, he takes a few shaky steps before regaining his balance. He glares at Dib, then looks at the two other irkens. "He only put me in that state because he got me by surprise. Come on, you two, we're going home." The two irkens follow Zim silently, not wanting to say anything to provoke him in his current state.

Dib watches the unearthly trio walk away, before turning back to Gaz, absolutely fuming. He's about to raise hell, when something burning hits him in the back of the head hard enough to knock him over and leave a painful scorch mark where it hit. He turns around, only to see Zim standing in the exit door, snickering as one of his PAK legs retracts into the dome itself.

Dib simply shakes his head in annoyance as Zim runs off, before turning back to Gaz.

"We'll talk about this when we get home." With that, Dib turns, and leaves Gaz in the cafeteria. She merely shrugs, and pulls out her Gameslave. "Whatever."

The rest of the day went on as it normally would, Dib getting ridiculed, and Gaz causing intense physical harm to various students. When the membrane children get home, however, it's a completely different story.

"HOW DARE YOU DEFEND ZIM?! HE'S TRIED TO KILL BOTH OF US MULTIPLE TIMES!"

"Maybe i enjoyed his presence."

"But you didn't."

"Maybe i did."

"Did you?"

"Nope."

Dib sighs. Clearly, he wasn't getting anywhere. He walks over to a control panel on the wall, and types in a code. A handprint verification device emerges from the wall, and Dib places his hand on it. A computerized voice speaks. "Dib membrane: rank, 'man of the house, second class.' Please state your command." Dib smirks slightly, remembering when his father promoted him to "man of the house" status. He was old enough, and the old man was barely around in the first place, so in all of his wisdom, the professor finally realized after so many years that someone needed to raise the kids. He appointed Dib with this task so he could do exactly what he has been doing his entire life: Raising himself and his sister.

Dib looks at his sister, then at the control panel. "Initiate grounding protocol seventy seven on subject Gazlene membrane."

Hearing her name, Gaz looks up from her game, but before she can say anything, a pair of mechanical arms grab her, putting a straight jacket on her. She tries to fight it, but no matter what she does, she can't escape the robotic limbs, as they carry her down to the basement. Dib follows her, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, Gaz, really, i am, but this is for your own good." Gaz just glares at him.

"I'm going to kill you for this, Dib."

"You'll thank me eventually."

"You will need to let me out eventually."

"And i will, once Zim is no longer an issue."

Gaz tries to escape the arms again, but still finds herself unable to do it. Dib walks over to a large case made of glass several inches thick. The top of the case lifts, and Gaz is lowered inside, followed by the top quickly slamming back down. Gaz tries to reach for her Gameslave, which is in her pocket, but can't due to the straight jacket. Another arm lowers from the top of the case, taking her gaming device away.

Dib walks back upstairs, ignoring the screams of rage and pounding on the glass, repeating the same phrase over and over again, justifying his actions. "It's for her own good, it's for her safety. It's for her own good, it's for her safety. It's for her own good, it's for her safety…" He enters the living room, shutting the door to the basement with only the tiniest shred of guilt.

P.O.V shift:

Tak

Tak couldn't believe her luck. A resisty attack on the planet parking-lotia, formerly blorch, has left it more understaffed than usual, and Tak was among the people sent to replace the former workers. Clearly, she thought, this was the tallests telling her that she needed to get back to earth. She wouldn't have been able to do it before, she never would have been able to take a ship, but now? She laughs quietly to herself, much to the annoyance of the irken sitting next to her. "Hey, knock it off, would ya? Ya freakin' defect…" Tak looks at the other irken, her face completely blank.

"I'm sorry. Care to repeat that?" The other irken leans forward slightly. "I said 'knock it off, you freaking defect.' Got a problem?" The other three irkens chuckle slightly, and Tak looks at them all, a sick smile on her face.

**Three hours later**

"Are the new recruits here yet?" The irken that was re-named skoodge sighs, looking at the small service drone. "I… i dunno, skoodge, sir." Not-skoodge sighs, burying his head in his hands. "Don't call me that. My name is Strorf. The tallests just renamed me skoodge, and dear irk, do i wish that they chose someone else." Strorf sighs, and gets up. "Well… might as well go see if they've arrived yet…"

He steps outside into a large executive part of the parking lot, which has an irken carrier parked in the middle. Strorf sighs in relief. "Finally…" He approaches the ship, and the back drops down, forming a ramp. He is disappointed, but not surprised, to only see one irken inside. A purple-eyed female. She walks off of the ship, and salutes. "Tak, reporting for duty."

Strorf lets out a brief sigh, and assigns Tak to vallet duty. He notices something on her PAK, but shakes it off as a simple hallucination, induced by the stress of running the entire planet. Irkens are programmed to have complete loyalty to the empire, and never willingly attack another irken. It's completely impossible that she would have a trail of irken blood that quite clearly wasn't hers running down the side of her PAK.

**Author's note**

**Ayyy, guess who's back? Sorry on taking so long, i got lazy. But hey, this chapter was okay, so it's not too bad, right? Right? **


	7. Ch 7: Pompous words

**Ch.7**

**Pompous words**

**Anyone who knows what the title of this chapter is in reference to will know who is going to arrive in this chapter… That said, those who don't know, you kinda just need to read. Also, i'll just say what it is referencing at the end of the chapter, accompanying an explanation for those unfamiliar with the character. **

Zim sits in first period, writing things on the desk, more out of boredom more than anything else. He's writing things you would expect from someone in high school, swear words, in Irken, of course. He looks up to see that the teacher has arrived. He puts the pencil in his pocket, and acts as innocent as possible, ignoring the fact that Dib was glaring at him from across the room.

The teacher clears her throat, getting the attention of everyone in the room. "Class, we have a new student arriving sometime today, so i want-" She is interrupted by the door to the classroom flying open on its own, followed by a cloud of black smoke. Everyone looks out into the hall, only to see complete darkness. After a few seconds, a pair of glowing red eyes appear in the darkened hallway. The new student walks into the room. His hair is black, and very thin. His skin is a pale grayish-green, and his eyes are bright red. He has horns coming out of his forehead. He is tall, and all of his clothes seem to be darker than black. He is also wearing a circular necklace with a keyhole in the center, which, upon further inspection, is shaped like a skull. The teacher looks at him, bored.

"Tell the class your name, and take your seat. "

The boy looks at her. "But of course, La profesora…" His voice is deep, and he has a slight hispanic accent. He turns to face the class. "My name is Pepito diablo. I'm sure that some of you recognize me, and because i know you're going to ask, my absence as of late was due to mi familia moving away for a little while. That said, we have now returned. For everyone who does not know me, i have one simple rule: Ignore me, and we will have no issue. Disobey that rule, however… well… Let's just say, you'll be in grave peligro…" Pepito walks to the back of the class, seeming to recognize someone back there. "Ah! Todd! Mi amigo! How have you been?" The boy simply responds by scooting his chair away slightly, much to pepito's amusement.

Dib, who has been staring at pepito in shock, feels something cold and metal tapping against his leg. He looks down to see one of Zims pak legs with a note attached to the end. Dib didn't even bother pointing it out to the class, he knew that they would find some way to ignore the obviously alien technology. He sighs, and takes the note.

"_Dib-stink, The new kid seems odd. Unearthly, in fact._"

Dib glances at Zim, who is staring straight ahead as though he has done nothing. Dib rolls his eyes, and quickly scribbles down a response, placing it back on Zims pak leg.

"_You would know, space-boy." _

Zim glares at Dib, and returns the note.

"_not an alien form of unearthly, Dib-stink." _

"_You mean the obviously-a-demon kind?" _

"_That would be the one." _

"_Zim, i have two questions for you. One, why point out the painfully obvious? And two, why are you attempting to communicate with me after i kicked your little green ass yesterday?" _

"_To answer your pathetically stupid questions, Dib-stink, i point out the obvious for the same reason you constantly try to point it out regarding me: Because you don't think anyone else notices it. As for the continued communications, it is because irkens have the strength to look past physical beatings from brutish members of the other species." _

Dib Is about to write something witty down as a retort, but finds himself at a complete loss for words.

"_Huh." _

"_That said, i can't help but notice the absence of your scary sister following said incident. You wouldn't happen to know about that, would you?" _

Dib doesn't return the piece of paper, which only makes Zim more curious as to the whereabouts of the purple-haired female. He decides that he will wait until after class to confront the Dib-human about it, seeing as sending another note would be likely to result in failure.

After a long, boring lecture from the teacher, the lunch bell rings. She looks up slightly, a look of relief spread across her face. "Oh thank god… Get out of here, you all know what to do." Zim shoots a glare to at the teacher before walking out into the hall. He starts to walk to the cafeteria, only to be stopped by a shapeless black mass, seemingly formed from the shadows in every nook and cranny of the hallway. The mass becomes a humanoid form with large red eyes, before changing once again, revealing itself to be pepito.

"Hola, criatura." Zim glances at him, curious about his motives, considering the warning he offered when he first arrived. "You seem different from the rest of los mortales…"

"I could say the same to you." Zim crosses his arms matter-of-factly. Pepito chuckles. "I suppose not. That said, being the antichrist makes me quite unique. Much like… whatever you are."

Zim stares at pepito, unimpressed. "Yes… 'whatever i am'. Let's keep it at that. Now if you'll excuse me…" Zim pushes pepito out of the way, and continues walking. Pepito, outraged, flings a ball of energy at the back of Zims head. It hits, and lights his wig on fire. He doesn't even turn around as his pak opens up, and two of the mechanical spider legs emerge. One puts the fire out with an extinguisher attachment, and the other fires a beam of plasma, hitting the satanic teenager in the forehead, knocking him to the floor. He gets up, stares at Zim for a moment, and laughs.

Zim glances over his shoulder, only to see that pepito has vanished. He shrugs, and returns his sights to his intended destination, only to be startled by the antichrist, who is standing a few steps away. "I like your attitude, mi amigo. I don't believe i caught your name."

The irken sighs. "Zim. May i go to lunch now?" Pepito laughs, putting his arm around Zims shoulders. "But of course, friend. I shall join you." Zims pak legs emerge once again, and push pepito away slightly. The two walk into the cafeteria, pepito attempting to start conversations every so often, taking great amusement in the various ways that Zim shoots them down.

Zim sits down at his usual table, staring at the cafeteria food, which has not become any more edible over the years. Pepito materializes across the table, holding his own tray, looking even more disgusted than Zim. "Ugh… my father has made better food… and his favorite ingredients are rotting human flesh, and barbecued organs." Zim glances upwards, abandoning all hope of getting rid of the paranormal pest. "I had organs once. Raw, not barbecued, but the fact of the matter remains."

Pepito looks like he's about to respond, when someone catches his eye. "Hey! Todd! Get over here, mi amigo!" Zim looks over his shoulder to see the human boy from earlier reluctantly walk over to the table. The boy looks as though he's about to sit next to Zim, but a quick threatening glare removes any chance of that. "Zim, this is todd casil. Back in elementary skool, we used to call him "Squee." Feel free to call him that, the nickname still applies. Todd, or rather, Squee, looks at Zim pleadingly. "Please don't…" His voice is quiet and shy, almost like he would rather stay silent.

Zim looks at him. "Squee it is!"

Todd looks downwards, weakly slamming his head on the table. "God dammit…"

While todd has his head on the desk, Zim sees an incredibly odd sight. Dib has a gameslave in his back pocket, but not any old gameslave. Inscribed on it in a threatening, yet elegant handwriting, is the name of his sister. Zim knows that this is wrong. The Gaz-human doesn't allow anyone to touch her gameslave. Zim, almost instantly, comes to the conclusion that she must be in some kind of trouble. He tries to find it in himself to take joy in the misery of a pathetic human being, but much like when he couldn't kill her, he just finds himself completely unable to do what he would normally do. He glances at Pepito. "Say… pepito. Are you up for a rescue mission?" The demonic boy gives Zim an odd look, and shrugs. "Well, i suppose i've got nothing else to do today, so…" He grins, his metallic, knife-like teeth showing. "Hell yeah." Squee tries to move away, but Pepito wraps his arm around the other boys shoulders. "Me and my friend Squee are always willing to help!" Squee simply sighs, staring at the floor. "When can i have a say in things?" Pepito laughs hysterically, and Squee slams his head on the table repeatedly, exasperated. Zim narrows one eye, keeping the other wide open. He can't help but feel like he just made a decision that he is going to regret.

**Authors note:**

**Oh cool, another chapter down. Well, for those of you don't know, pepito the antichrist and squee are from another one of jhohens works, a comic called "Squee", which was a spin-off of Johnny the homicidal maniac. The title of this chapter is in reference to a quote from the bible about the antichrist. Something about pompous words against the most high. **


	8. Ch 8: Home invaders

**Ch. 8**

**Home invaders**

Zim returns home after school, and upon opening the door, he receives a small surprise. Bob and Skoodge are in the middle of the room, each one carrying armfuls of technology. Zim glares at them. "I thought i told you two to clean the specimen cages, not create equipment." Zim approaches the two, shutting the door. He had sent them to the labs to do chores as punishment for not helping him when he was being attacked by the Dib-human, but it seems that they can't follow even the most simple of instructions.

"You left your communicator on. Like… all day." Zim stares at Bob for a moment. "I… did?" Skoodge nods. "Yeah, you did. We heard you talking about the rescue mission thing… so we made some stuff to help you." Zim shakes his head. "Just… i don't know… put that stuff on the table in the kitchen." The two smaller irkens go to put the devices away, and the moment that Zim sits on the couch, he hears a knocking at the door. "Irk… fucking… dammit." He gets up, and walks to the door. He had deactivated the roboparents ages ago, with no intention of turning them back on, so he had to get the door now, or risk letting Gir get it.

He opens the door, and, unsurprisingly, he sees pepito and squee standing there. The demon waves, and walks inside, followed by the human. Squee glances outside, then at Pepito. "I swear, those gnomes were staring at me…" Zim shuts the door. "They probably were, squee. After all, they're automated defense turrets." He grins, seeing the look on Squees face.

Zim looks at the two who just entered his house, his hands behind his back. "Alright, gentlemen. One thing i would like to get out of the way. I'm only revealing this to you because, given what you're almost certainly going to see during this little operation, it's just easier to just tell you this now, rather than come up with excuses." He pulls off his disguise. "I am an alien." Squee flinches slightly, and pepito looks at him. "...sorry…. bad experiences from my childhood." Zim stares at him for a moment. "...I see… Actually i don't see, i just don't really care." Squee looks like he's about to object to Zims statement for a second, but he gives in, sighing. "Probably for the best." Zim walks into the kitchen, and grabs the equipment his assistants made. "I made all of this specifically for this mission." Bob takes a breath, about to speak, but he is stopped by a ball of energy hitting him in the face, fired from one of Zims pak legs. He flips over backwards, and lands face-down on the floor, out cold.

Zim hands the antichrist an ear-mounted communications headset, a glove with a strong short-range EMP device for dispatching nearby electronics, and a plasma pistol. The demon child grins, examining his new tools. Zim walks over to Todd, and hands him the communicator, a plastic baseball bat, and some pocket lint. He returns the rest of the technology to the kitchen, and stares at his two unorthodox companions.

"You two are some of the most pathetic-looking people i've ever dealt with in my life, but i'm afraid you'll have to do. " He walks over to the door, and opens it up, walking out onto the sidewalk as he puts his disguise on. He is followed by pepito, who is mimicking shooting the buildings with his plasma gun, and him by Squee, who didn't even bother bringing the items Zim gave him. He shuts the door, shaking his head. "This is going to go horribly wrong, i just know it…"

The three make their way to the membrane household. Zim looks at his two allies. "Alright you two. Dib shouldn't be at home tonight. He usually goes out to check for pair-of-normal activity, and with the meteor shower supposed to happen tonight… well, i doubt he'll be even thinking about his house, what with all of the possible alien activity he won't find."

The two just give him an odd look. Squee clears his throat. "Don't… eh… don't you mean 'paranormal activity?' I mean… uh… you know…" Zim shakes his head. "Whatever." He turns to face the door, one of his Pak legs emerging, and leveling itself with the lock. It looks as though he's about to begin carefully picking the lock, until the leg stabs through the door entirely, and turns the doorknob from the other side. He opens the door, and walks inside, followed by Squee and pepito. He turns to look at the two people he brought along on this mission.

"Pepito, you come with me. Squee… i don't know… make yourself useful somehow." Squee shakes his head, looking offended, as the demon and the alien begin searching the house. Zim comes across a door labeled 'grounding cells.' He narrows his eyes slightly, seeing an electric lock on the door. He looks at pepito. "Demon-boy, use the glove on the door."

"Hey, sure thing, amigo." He presses his hand on the doorknob, and an electrical pulse is sent through the entire door. It opens up without issue. The two walk into the holding basement, seeing two large glass boxes. In one of them, Gazlene membrane sits in the middle of the box. The glass all seems to be severely cracked on the inside, but there is no damage on the outside. Pepito stares at the unaware goth, his eyes wide.

"putos infierno… Zim, amigo, you never said we'd be saving such a beauty…" Hearing the demon child, the girl stands up, and turns around quickly. If Zim didn't know the girl in front of him better, he would say that she doesn't seem pissed. It was another emotion. Not happy, he knew that much, she was never happy. He couldn't quite decipher what it might have been, and, for whatever reason, it bothered him. The feeling fades as she glares at him. "Zim, what the hell are you doing here? And…" She looks at the demon boy. "Who is this?" The satan-spawn grins a bit. "Oh, nobody much… My name is Pepito diablo, son of El diablo."

Gaz raises an eyebrow, examining the boy with one amber eye. "El diablo? As is, the devil? Satan?" Pepito nods, smiling proudly. Zim crosses his arms impatiently. Gaz shakes her head. "Whatever. i've seen stranger. Now, neither of you ever got around to telling me why you're here."

Zim grins smugly, circling the box, much to Gazlene's annoyance. "Well, filthy Gaz-child, we-"

Pepito interrupts him. "We're here to rescue you!"

Zim glares at the devil-child. "...Yes, we're here to free you from your captivity…"

Gaz growls. "I do not need to be rescued. Not by an incompetent alien, and not by a spawn of the devil. I can handle myself just fine. I suggest the two of you leave before i break out of this damned box, and kick your asses."

Zim smirks, looking at the human. "Really now, Gazlene, you don't honestly believe you can escape your prison without assistance, do you?" He holds a hand up in front of his face, acting as though he's examining his fingernails. He begins ranting about how he is the superior being.

Pepito, however, gets to work immediately. He becomes a cloud of darkness, a three dimensional shadow, and enters the box through the air holes near the top. Once inside, he reforms, and holds a hand out in front of him. He clenches his hand into a fist, and the glass shatters. Zim, still ranting, doesn't seem to notice.

"...you FILTHY humans, and your pathetic containment units are no match for me! You should consider yourself lucky i decided to help you at all. I mean really-" He's interrupted by a swift fist to the face. He stumbles back, covering his face with his hands. "HEY! WHAT ON IRK WAS THAT FOR?!"

Gaz smirks. "I told you not to call me 'filthy.' That's what that was for." Zim merely glares in response. Pepito clears his throat. "So… Mi amigos… Eh… We should be going now, sí?" The alien looks at him, shooting another glare at the human. "Yes. We should be going now." The trio walk into the living room, and see a, quite frankly, very disturbing sight. Squee is pinned to the ground by a horrible blend of stuffed animal and machinery, baring its sharp metal teeth and growling at the poor boy. Todd is begging for his life. Pepito watches with only mild concern. Zim bursts out laughing. Gaz rolls her eyes.

"Oh great. You two brought a THIRD idiot into my home. Great. Security!" The small abomination looks at Gaz. "That's enough." The thing nods, glancing back down at Squee. It snaps its jaws at him once, earning a scream of pure terror, before skittering away on its blade-like legs. If Todd didn't know better, he'd say it looked pretty damn proud of itself. Zim and Pepito walk over to him. Zim smirks. "Bet you regret not bringing any of Zim's fantastic weaponry now, don't you, Squee?" The human groans, getting up. He looks down, ashamed. "...I just wanna go home…" Pepito shrugs. "Hey, i'll send you there, Amigo. I need to be on my way as well. un segundo…" He walks back over to Gaz, ignoring her glare. "If you ever need me, hermoso infierno de soltera, i shall be available." He smirks. "Simply speak of the devil…" He grabs Gaz's wrist, and kisses the back of her hand, looking up at her.

"...And i shall appear." He takes a step back, and he combusts into green flames, vanishing into thin air. The same happens to Squee, though he's screaming in pain the whole time. Zim glares at the spots where they were. "Oh, very funny. Leaving the almighty Zim behind. Very nice. Repulsive… Urgh!" He grunts in rage, kicking the air. He sighs, shaking his head. In all actuality, he wasn't bothered by the fact that he was left behind, it was something he could deal with.

No, the invader's wrath was directed more towards a strange, completely foreign feeling that began to fill him as a result of the demon-kid's actions. He's walking away, when he hears something he never thought he'd hear in a million years- The Gaz-human giggling. He freezes, looking at her over his shoulder. She seems to have completely forgotten about his existence. Knowing that this was not a good position to be in, he quickly exits the membrane household, and runs back to the base.

**Author's note:**

**Yo yo yo i'm back! Sorry for taking so long on this chapter. I'll try to update more frequently from now on.**


	9. Ch 9: New feelings, New people

**Ch. 9**

**New feelings, New people. **

**Tak's p.o.v:**

Strorf stared at Tak, with an expression of shocked appraisal. Somehow, she had managed to clean her entire assigned lot, and all in one afternoon! Considering how short blorchian afternoons are, and how large her lot is, it was quite the accomplishment.

The irken female smiles, feigning pride in her achievement. Strorf walks around, searching for a single dirty spot. None at all. He looks at Tak. "Tak… Tak, i don't even know what to say! This… this is amazing! Y'know what? I'm giving you a promotion. Starting now, you'll be on valet duty. Just take the ships and park them in the correct lots. Spittle runners go in lot A, Squeedle-class fighters go in B, so on and so forth." Taks grin only seems to grow. "Oh, Thank you!" The male irken nods, shakes her hand, and leaves. The moment he's outside of earshot, Tak begins laughing. Quietly, at first, slowly becoming louder, and more high-pitched. "Just as i had planned!"

She walks over to a small booth, and sits down in a chair. She leans back, and watches through a window as a spittle runner pulls up. "Oh yes… This day is only going to get better and better… Finally, i'll have my revenge…"

**Zim's p.o.v:**

"COMPUTER!" The A.I. of Zim's base groans. "What? What do you want, Zim?" A mechanical arm with a camera on the end descends from the roof, lowering itself to Zim's eye level. The irken raises an antennae. "What's up with the… eh… camera?" The base grunts. "Dunno. Felt like having a slightly better Artificial Intelligence- to -Biological lifeform interface, and this is what i came up with." The irken lowers the antennae. "Oh. Neat." The camera tilts slightly to the left. "Aww, think so?" Zim nods, smiling slightly. The computer 'chuckles.' "Thanks." Zim's smile returns to the scowl he had when he came in.

"Now! Computer! I need you to run a scan on my PAK!" The camera observes him curiously. "Why? Something wrong?" Zim nods affirmatively. "Something is VERY wrong… You see, i was in the membrane household, and i had OH SO BRAVELY rescued the Gaz-Human, as i had set out to do. But then…" Zim growls, looking out through the window. He had forgotten about the meteor shower that was going on. The sight reminded him of the videos of the biological sweep he had seen back in the academy, except with a lot less dying and screaming.

He sighs. "...Then, one of my allies, the demon-child Pepito, He…" Zim growls, balling up his fingers into a fist. "I have felt intense hatred before. For the humans. For the Dib-stink. For Tak. But never…. NEVER… have i felt such intense dislike for ANYONE… And i don't know why." The irken looks at the camera.

"So tell me, computer, what is wrong with me? Run a scan on my PAK. Tell me what… this… is." A set of cords drop from the ceiling, and he opens the three pink spots on his PAK to allow them in.

He is lifted off of the ground briefly as the scans commence. Electricity courses through his body, and he screams in agony briefly, before the cords drop him face-first onto the ground with a 'Ding!' Like a microwave oven going off.

"Scans: Complete." Zim looks up, hearing his computer say this. "Well? WELL?! Go on! Tell me! Tell me what is wrong with the amazing brain of ZIIIIIIIIM…." The computer checks the scan results, and makes a noise like a human sucking in air through their teeth when they hear bad news. "Well…" He looked through the list of errors again, taking a few seconds. Even that was a long time, for an irken computer. It would likely take a human several weeks to read through the entirety of the list.

The computer, not wanting to deal with Zim pitching a fit over the whole thing, decides- reasonably enough- to leave out the part about the billions of errors in his PAK. Instead, he focuses on the current problem at hand, the one Zim came to him for in the first place. "Hmm… It seems that you're undergoing a negative emotional reaction in response to the entity 'pepito' having interactions with the entity 'Gazlene' in any way you perceive to be an attempt at wooing her for his own purposes."

Zim stares at the camera the computer was using as an interface. "...English, computer. English." The optic narrows slightly. "That WAS english." "YOU LIE!" "No, that-" "LIES! FILTHY LIES!" "Zim, i-" "LIIIIIEEEESSSS!" "But-" "YOU LIE!" The computer goes silent, and waits for Zim to calm down. After a moment, he tries to speak again. "I'll tell you what-" "OH, THE FILTHY LIES YOU SPEW! WHEN WILL THEY END?!" A mechanical arm lowers from the roof, and slaps Zim right across the face. Zim shakes his head slightly. "Okay i'm good." The computer groans. "Okay…. What i was trying… to say…. is that you… are jealous." Zim stares at the camera for a moment.

"Computer, did we not just discuss this? You really must get out of the habit of lying."

The computer lets out an anguished cry of frustration.

**POV: Dib**

"_This is it, Dib!" _He thinks as he approaches the giant meteorite. It was huge, the size of two cars stacked on top of another, and just as long. "_There's gotta be SOMETHING interesting on this rock!" _He looks into the crater, pulling up his camera, and stares blankly at the source of the huge hole in the ground. It was made, not of stone like he at first thought, but of metal and glass, and other things like that.

This was no meteorite. This was a spacecraft. "...Neat!" Dib begins taking pictures. If he had been anyone else, he'd have ran away in fear. But him? No, he dealt with aliens every day at school. This was not even startling to him. What was startling, however, was when he hears someone gasp, right behind him. He turns around, shocked. "Oh! Um… H-Hi!" He backs up a bit. He didn't recognize this girl. Her hair is black, black as the night sky. Her eyes are a brilliant shade of deep purple, and her skin is so beautifully pale. She is wearing a black t-shirt, black jeans, and combat boots. He can see the straps of a backpack over her shoulders. She stares at him for a few seconds.

Dib, of course, stares back, admiring her. He sees the way the light catches in her eyes, like a purple flash dancing across them, and he's lovestruck. He drops his camera, completely forgetting it ever existed. He holds out his hand. "M-My name is… Is Dib, Dib Membrane."

The girl smiles a bit, and reaches out a hand, shaking his. "Katherine Kirne". Pleasure to meet you." He smiles at her, and her british accent. She smiles back. "So… Katherine, you said?… What… what brings you here?" He gestures towards the crashed spaceship.

"Well, i saw the meteorite crash, and i instantly thought 'that is no meteor!' Y'know? I came here to check it out, because i've always wanted to find some kind of evidence of…" She looks away. "N-Nevermind. It's stupid." Dib takes a step towards her. "Evidence of alien life?"

She looks at him, her eyes practically glowing. "You believe, too?" Dib nods. "Of course i do! There's actually a disguised alien, living in my neighborhood." She narrows her eyes somewhat. "Oh. Right. So you're just screwing with me, then? Nice." She turns, and starts to walk off. Dib calls out to her. "I've got pictures." She stops. "W-what?" She says, looking over her shoulder. Dib reaches into his backpack, which he had brought along to store anything he could in. He pulls out a small folder, with several photographs inside.

-90 minutes later-

"But… But that dog's arms and legs are so stubby! How can it carry that garbage can on its own?" She looks at the old photograph, bewildered. Dib smirks. "Because it's not actually a dog! It's Zim's little robot." He tosses out a photo of Gir without his disguise, and Katherine Gasps. "Dib, with this, you could prove the existence of alien life in the universe to the entire world! This is amazing!"

Dib gets a smug little grin. "Why, Thank you! I've got a lot more evidence back at my place, and an actual, functioning spaceship, too! Wanna come check it out?" Dib stands up, and helps Katherine do the same. "Of course! And wow, an actual spaceship?" Dib begins explaining as the two walk away. Meanwhile, a remote signal is sent to the spacecraft in the crater. After a few seconds, it explodes, taking out everything nearby, Dib's discarded camera included.


	10. Ch 10: Old news, old friends

**Ch. 10**

**Old news, old friends**

Dib wakes up, and looks around. Across the room, he's surprised for a moment to see another person, curled up in a sleeping bag on the floor, until he remembers the previous night. Katherine Kirne, a new friend of his, had decided to stay at his home for the night after he had shown her a vast majority of the information he had obtained regarding Zim over the years. A small smile forms on his face as he gets out of bed. He had promised to show her the ship he acquired so many years ago…

As he begins to walk towards the door, he hears Katherine shifting slightly in her sleep. He stops, looking at her, and her eyes open. Seeing Dib, she jumps up, almost as though she hadn't expected him to be there. She goes into a combat-ready position and opens her mouth, as though to say something, but she stops. She looks around, and realizes where she is. She looks at Dib, and chuckles, seemingly embarrassed. "Um… Sorry, just… Bad dream last night." Dib smiles slightly. "No worries, happens to everyone." The female stands up straight, and Dib nods. "So… You, eh… Wanna go check out the spaceship, or…?" Her eyes widen, and a broad grin forms on her face. "I'd love to!" Dib opens the door, and holds it open for her. She walks through, giving him a quiet "Thank you" as she passes him. He follows her, and leads her to the garage.

He looks at her over his shoulder, and sees the excitement on her face. He looks back, and opens the door, revealing Tak's ship. Katherine gasps, slowly walking towards it. "Oh.. My… i- How… What…" Dib walks over to her, and puts a hand on the ship. Katherine flinches slightly when he touches it, which confuses him. "Um… Something… Something wrong?" He pulls his hand away, and Katherine looks at him. "N- No! Nothing's… Nothing's wrong!" Dib tilts his head slightly. "Are… Are you sure?" Dib sees the reflection of the overhead lights move across her eyes quickly as she looks away. "Yes, yes, everything's fine. No need to question me further." Dib stares at her for a few seconds, and blinks. "Uh… If… If you say so." He looks back at the ship, and remembers something. "Hey, y'know, i could start the ship up, if you want… I'm sure you remember what i told you the other night? About some Irken ships having A.I. Copies of their owners in them?" He begins to walk around the side of the ship, when he feels Katherine grab his shoulder.

"That… Won't be necessary, Dib. Thanks, though…" He looks at her, a little surprised, but not about to ask any questions. She looks down slightly, and after a moment, she seems to get an idea. "Dib… Didn't you say that the alien lives in this neighborhood?" Dib smiles, nodding. "Yeah, he does." She moves a little bit closer to him. "Could you please show me..?"

**P.O.V: Zim**

Zim paces in his living room, hands behind his back, in a state of increasing frustration with his computer. It had been refusing to tell him the truth about whatever was wrong with him, continually insisting it was something to do with the human emotion "Jealousy." Gir, too, had joined in at one point, with frequent outbursts claiming that Zim is made of Jelly. Clearly, he had no clue what they were talking about, and simply wanted to join in the conversation. Zim had put him outside with his leash tied around one of the gnomes shortly afterwards. He didn't want or need Gir's interruptions right now.

"Alright. Computer. We're going to go through this again."

"Why? Because you can't accept that what i'm saying is true?"

"SILENCE! ...Anyways. I, an irken invader, am incapable of such petty emotions such as Affection, Sadness, Jealousy, and other such efficiency-hindering feelings. This means, obviously enough, that you are incorrect in your conclusion that i am experiencing Jealousy, which is an emotion i was bred to never be able to experience, just like all other invaders."

The Computer groans, the camera it was using as its eyes drooping somewhat. "Listen, Zim. I know what i saw in your code, and it matched with the emotional database. You're suffering from jealousy."

"But HOW, computer? How would i be? It's not in my programming!"

"I don't know! maybe… I dunno… Uh… Maybe the control brains decided to give you something to stand out among the others, and gave you emotions?" The computer lied quickly, trying to say something Zim would want to hear so he would drop the subject. It seems to work, as Zim stops pacing, looking up somewhat. "Hm...So, what you're saying is, i'm specially made by the Control brains, to be superior to my peers?"

"Yeah, Sure, Whatever."

"...Well, computer, you could've told me in the first place!"

The computer sighs with relief, seeing that Zim believed the lie. "So, do you believe me now?"

"Nope!"

The computer, for the first time in its many years of existing, wished it had a body similar to that of an irken or a human, so that it could repeatedly bash its head against a wall until its skull cracks open and it dies.

"...And… why not?" It almost took more effort than the computer could manage to keep the anger out of his voice.

"Why would i be jealous over the Demon-child interacting with the Gaz-beast? I have no attraction to the female. Her vibrant, purple hair-"

"Wait, what was that about her hair?"

"Shut up, i'm talking. Where was i? Ah, yes. Her vibrant, purple hair has no effect on my mind. Her brilliant, Hazel eyes do NOT keep me up at night, preventing me from sleeping with their beauty-"

"You don't NEED to sleep, Zim!" The computer was getting increasingly exasperated.

"... Her BRILLIANT… HAZEL eyes… Do not keep me up at night with their beauty. Her skin, so soft, pale, so fragile-"

"Pardon my use of a human term, but she has 'kicked your ass' more times than i can count."

Zim glares at the camera hanging from the roof. "...Anyways, i do not love the purple-haired worm-baby."

"I never said anything about love!"

The two stare at each other silently for a few seconds.

"I'm going to go outside and get Gir. I think this conversation is over."

"Yeah… that'd probably be the best course of action."

Zim turns to the door, and walks outside, and is surprised to see that Gir isn't there. "Gir?" He looks around, trying to find him. He approaches the gnome his leash was tied to, and examines it. The leash is still there, yet it seems to have been cut by something. Zim looks around for whatever Gir must've used to cut the leash, slowly growing more irritated. "Oh, come on!" He walks out onto the sidewalk, and pulls a small device out of his Pak. It seems to be a small tablet, with a radar showing up on the screen. Zim spots a small dot a short distance from his current location, and turns so he's facing in its direction.

"At least he didn't get far…"

**P.O.V: Gaz**

Gazlene membrane lay in her bed, playing the latest installation in the Vampire Piggy hunter series, blissfully unaware of her surroundings. That is, until something small and green smashes through her window, screaming and giggling, landing at the foot of her bed. She jumps up in surprise, and the intruder sits up.

"HAI!"

She glares at Gir, pausing her game and putting it away. She knew that if he saw the device, he'd want to play her game, and last time she let him, he somehow beat her high score, and it took her two weeks to regain her position at the top. "What do you want, Gir? Why did Zim send you?" Gir stares at her, then leaps at her, hugging her legs and giggling like a madman. "Hey! Get off, ya little metal freak!" She pulls one of her legs away, and kicks him off of her other one. He lands on the floor, laughing and screeching. "Again! Again, scary lady, Again!" She groans.

"My name is Gaz, not 'Scary lady.'" She makes a mental note to find out if Zim told him to call her that, if he did, she'll kick his ass. If not, she'll still kick his ass.

Gir nods. "Okie dokie, Gazzy!" Gaz stares at him, knowing she won't be able to convince him to just call her Gaz. Instead, she goes back to her original question. "What are you doing here, Gir?" Gir climbs back onto her Bed, and sits cross-legged, a stupid smile plastered on his face. "I know something yoooou don't know!"

Gaz considers snapping the little robot's neck right there, and is about to, until he continues. "You'se in it!" He giggles, and Gaz raises an eyebrow. "I'm in what you know? So, it's about me?" Gaz finds herself curious to hear what the robot thinks he knows about her.

"Yep! You'se in it, an' Master's in it too!" She narrows her eyes. "You know something about me and about Zim that neither of us know?"

"Master knows!"

"Care to tell me what it is your Master knows?"

Gir thinks back to earlier today, to the argument master had with the computer. Something about him being jealous of another person who had interacted with her...

"Master likes you!" Gaz stares at the SIR unit, unsure if she heard him correctly. "...I'm sorry… He what?"

"He likes you! He wanna do the smoochies with ya! Like this!" Gir moves towards her, and Gaz, seeing what he's about to do, promptly kicks him off the bed. He climbs back up, and sits in her lap. "He wanna go on a daaaaaate!" Gaz gets out of bed, dropping Gir to the floor, a wave of anger overcoming her mind. Angry at what, she has no idea, just… Anger. She looks over at her drawer, the one where she keeps her security dolls, and sees one- one she had made shortly after Zim had landed on earth. She walks over to the drawer, and picks up the little plush doll, examining its large, red button eyes, it's green, cloth skin, it's reddish-purple attire…

She throws it on the ground, and kicks it to the middle of the room. "Security! Attack!" The rest of the dolls come to life, and hop off the shelf, slowly approaching the designated target, the doll she had thrown to the ground earlier. They're about to start ripping it to shreds, when someone rings the doorbell. "Halt! Return." The security dolls hesitate, but they return to the drawer, dragging the other doll with them. She walks to the door, and Gir follows. She opens it, and is shocked to see a familiar person- Zim. He stares at her, and she blushes, despite herself. Zim raises an invisible eyebrow.

"What do you want, Zim?" She asks, with slightly more hostility than usual.

"Gir. The tracker i installed into him a few years back said he's here, and i know for a fact that there's no way you don't know where he is. If Gir gets into your house, it's impossible NOT to know. So, give him to me."

Gir sees Zim, and runs through the door, tackling him. Zim grunts, and Gaz watches, glaring at the two. Zim gets up, holding Gir, and turns to leave. Gaz stays in the doorway, watching him walk away. Zim, having the feeling of being watched, glances over his shoulders, and sees Gaz, still blushing slightly, staring at him. He keeps walking, and she maintains eye contact. Zim begins walking a little faster, until he's out of sight. Gaz just stays in the doorway, staring at where he was. She recalls what Gir had said as she backs up and shuts the door. She can't help but wonder two things. One, was Gir telling the truth? And two, Would she like the answer if she knew it?

**P.O.V: Zim**

Zim carries Gir back to the house, lecturing him the whole way about cutting his leash like that, and how it jeopardizes the mission. Gir interrupts him. "But i didn't cut it!" Zim glances at him, not quite believing him. "Then who did?"

"That boy with the Big head!" Zim stops. "...You… You mean… The Dib-Stink?"

"Yeah! Him 'n the nice lady! You an' the house were fighting, and them two came 'n cut my leash!" Zim breaks out into a run towards the base. He sees it, and speeds up. Was that movement in the window? Had he shut the door, or had someone else done that? Had whoever is inside found anything of any importance? All of these questions, and more, fly through Zim's head as he bursts into the living room, seeing… Nothing. Nothing seems to be any different. He stands up straight, confused.

Until, behind him, he hears someone falling and hitting the ground, followed by a familiar voice shouting out "Computer! Restrain him!" Zim looks up, and several cords descend from the roof, shooting out at him and wrapping around his body like Tendrils. They lift him up, and turn him around. He finds himself staring into a familiar set of large, purple eyes. "Hello again, Zim. Long time no see…"


	11. Ch 11: Flashback

**Ch. 11**

**Flashback**

Dib and Katherine stood outside of Zim's base, silently observing it. Zim had put Gir out on his leash some time before they had arrived, and he could be heard inside the house arguing with the computer. Dib glances at his friend. "So… Any ideas for how to break in?" Katherine examines the house. She looks through the window, seeing Zim pacing, then at Gir, watching him run in circles. She looks at Dib, and he looks back.

"I… I've got nothing" Katherine admits. Dib stares into her eyes, and an idea comes to him. "Stay here, i know what to do." He gets up, and slowly walks over to Gir. He pulls a small knife out of his jacket pocket, and glances over his shoulder at Katherine. He flashes her a grin, and cuts Gir's leash.

Gir, realizing he's free, runs out into the streets, giggling and babbling the whole way. Katherine walks over to him, a wide smile on her face. "Dib, that was brilliant! When Zim notices he's gone, he'll have to go after him! we can sneak into his house! maybe do something to put an end to his mission!"

Dib grins, and walks around the side of the house, Katherine following close behind him. The two wait there for a while, until they hear the door open. Dib and Katherine watch as Zim walks out, and realizes that his Sir unit is gone. He looks around, calling out for him, eventually pulling some sort of tracking device out of his PAK and walking away. Dib looks at Katherine. "You were right, Kat!" She flinches slightly, seemingly nervous about something. Dib raises an eyebrow. "You okay?" She nods quickly. "Yes, Dib, i'm fine, thank you. Just… Just a bit nervous, is all. just… Just realized we're breaking into an alien's home."

Dib smiles reassuringly. "Ah, don't sweat it. I've done it plenty of times before." She nods, and stands up. Dib does the same, and, without warning, finds himself in a tight embrace. Dib, surprised, looks down at Katherine. "Uh…"

She seems to read his mind, and answers a question he was about to ask, that being, exactly why she was doing this. "Nobody had ever believed me about extraterrestrials, saying they were just myths… Then i meet you, and… And suddenly, i'm seeing spaceships, robots, breaking into the home of a hostile invader… Just… Thank you, Dib…" She lets go, and walks around to the front of the house, Dib following close behind. She smiles a bit, seeing the door wide open. "Bingo!"

The two enter, and Dib shuts the door behind him. They wander around inside the house, examining everything they find. Dib walks into the kitchen, and calls Katherine over. She comes in, and he grins. "Wanna see something really cool?" She nods, and he walks over to a toilet against one of the walls. She looks like she's about to ask a question, until he flushes it, and takes a step back. The floor splits open, and the toilet is lifted up by a cylindrical, glass tube. A metal platform floats up to their level, and Katherine gasps. "It's…"

"...An elevator." Dib finishes her sentence, He gestures for her to get in. "Ladies first." She walks in, thanking him, and he follows. The elevator automatically descends, and Dib glances at the female next to him. "So… Any plans for we can do to mess with Zim?" Katherine stares straight ahead, a look of determination on her face. "As a matter of fact, i know exactly what we should do."

Something about the way she says this unnerves Dib, her voice is filled with a certain coldness that he's not used to from her. "Uh… Well… Wh-What is your plan?" She looks at him, a smirk on her face. "I'm going to hack into his Base's computer, and use it to capture him when he gets home. After that? I'll KILL him, and get revenge for what he did to me." Dib's eyes go wide, and he backs up. "What…? Kat-" He stops mid-sentence. Katherine Kirne. Kat Kirne. Tak Irken. "Oh my god…" Katherine starts to flicker, and she disappears, leaving behind her true form. Before him stands an old enemy- Tak. She grins, and a familiar flash moves across her eyes. Dib begins to feel light headed, and he stumbles back. "But… But when you were here last time…"

"When i was here last time, Zim sent me into the cold depths of space, and i swore vengeance." Dib was finding it hard to stay conscious. "And… The mind control… thing... "

"I got a new one. Seeing how there were humans who were JUST smart enough to resist it, i had to upgrade." Dib stares up at her. She had tricked him, again. The second time he ever met someone who didn't mock him, and it was Her, again. Dib felt like an idiot. She smirks, leaning towards him slightly. "I'd be lying if i said i didn't expect more from you, Dib. Are you really SO desperate for some compassion that you'd fall for the same thing a second time?"

Dib couldn't help himself. He looks down, feeling tears slowly creeping out of his eyes. He had been tricked again, and he knew for a fact that there'd be no way to prevent her from destroying the earth this time. He had failed exactly as he had fought through the entire thing- On his own.

Tak laughs. "Crying? Honestly, Dib, get a hold of yourself. I ALMOST feel bad for you! I mean, you were so easily deceived, and now this? Pathetic!"

Before he knows what he's doing, Dib throws a punch. He had no plan, he had no idea what to do next, he just swung. Unfortunately for him, she was quicker, grabbing his wrist and holding it out to the side. She kicks him in the stomach, sending him back and cracking the glass of the elevator tube. Dib, knocked to the ground, sees an opportunity- He kicks her legs out from under her, sending her sprawling to the ground. He quickly gets up, running over to her, only to receive a plasma ball directly to the face. He's knocked back by the impact, clutching his burning face, and patting out a fire in his hair. Tak grabs him by the throat, and throws him back against the tube, creating another crack.

Tak grabs the front of his shirt, her foot on his stomach. She slams his head into the tube, creating several more cracks as the two descend. The elevator stops at a floor, and they both look out of the tube to see two more Irkens: Bob and Skoodge. The four stare at each other awkwardly. Bob coughs. Skoodge backs up a bit. "Yeeeaaahhhh… We'll… We'll take the next one." Tak narrows her eyes slightly.

**3 minutes later**

Tak smirks, walking past her three prisoners- Dib, Skoodge, and Bob. Dib had passed out after his beating, and the two irkens walked into the cells before she even had to say anything. The shorter of the two made a gesture with his hands that she didn't recognize, and the fat one claimed that they had done it for their own protection.

She stops in front of the human's cell. She looks in, watching him. He's still out cold, curled up on the ground. Without realizing what she's doing, she puts a hand on the glass. Seeing the determination on his face earlier had caused something to stir deep in her mind. If a human felt what she did, they'd call it Pity. But no, she, an irken invader, has no idea what this foreign, Alien concept was. There was a hint of admiration in her mind, too. This pathetic worm-baby stood fearlessly in the path of his planet's destruction, ridiculed by all who saw him. The situation reminded her of an ancient Irken myth.

She growls, and moves away from the cell. "No… I've got work to do…" She walks over to a computer terminal, and sets to work. It wasn't hard for her to do what she wanted to. Zim had turned his Base's computer off, apparently not having known that a deactivated base computer enters a state where another irken can take control. She opens her PAK, plugging a cord from it into the terminal. The computer recognizes the signal, and uploads her PAK ID into the permissions box. In a few seconds, she gains control over the entire base. She laughs, quietly at first, slowly growing louder. She's cut off by the sound of something hitting the glass. For a split second, she thinks it's Dib trying to escape, until she looks, and sees the smaller Irken, his hand against the glass, making the same gesture as before, and rubbing it in circles on the panel. She narrows her eyes, and one of her PAK legs fires a plasma ball at the glass. It hits, and the small irken gasps, jumping back.

Tak rolls her eyes, and looks up. "Computer! Activate!" The lights turn on, and the base is filled with a subtle humming. "Yes, mas- Mistress?" Tak grins, turning towards a screen. On it, she could see Zim running down the street. She walks towards the elevator. She'd have just enough time to set up an ambush for him. She looks up, grinning. "Computer… I'll need you to do everything i say."

"Yes, Mistress."


End file.
